This New Year’s Day, Phil and I sat down with Quinn, and did a brainstorm on our family values. After going through it, I wanted to share a bit of this process with you, as well as how it evolved so that my friends and family and network with new babies or new beginnings might be able to use this as a tool for themselves.
The idea is riffed off of something Phil and I heard in the fabulous Bran Montague’s Wonder Workshop (put on by Istoria—their STORY conference is a must). Brad’s family sits down every New Year’s Day and revisits their family mission statement.
I thought this was just about the best idea.
Without my permission, my brain started nurturing and playing with this idea, allowing it to flourish into a wild flower frenzy over the months since. Ultimately, I came up with something of a big idea. (Luckily, Phil was down!)
Before going on, mega shout out to my Leadership folks here—my brain wouldn’t know how to galavant so eagerly and effectively without your cultivation and guidance.
So we sat down on New Year’s Day and talked about what was important to us, while Quinn contributed with his actions: bravely taking steps, curiously exploring a block, kindly throwing our pup Ada her ball. Here is the values brainstorm we found ourselves with after about an hour of conversation, observation, and introspection, as well as what struck us hard in the mission statement realm:
Family Values and Mission Statement Brainstorm
As you can see, the family mission statement evolved into something more akin to a mantra (to my delight). We felt pretty happy where it ended up right away (though we are keeping in mind that all levels of this, process and product are just the starting place and are intended to evolve). The values that we came up with, on the other hand, were another story: We knew they needed a lot of work.
The following day, I sat down, intending to edit down the brainstorm to a few “value bubbles” (if you will) to display in our main living space. That way, we would be able to incorporate our values easily into daily life, whether by celebrating Quinn’s joy at a new discover or by reminding my husband and me that yes, self-care is priority. I pride myself on my ability to edit content down. I love whittling a full, well-written paragraph down to one concise (if compound) sentence.
But I couldn’t do it.
I stared at my brainstorm for what felt like a hugely-precious chunk of Quinn’s nap time, and my value bubbles all burst, giving me a splash spray of what would be lost in a big cut. So. I made something new up.
Thinking back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a pyramid and hierarchy, of sorts, came to mind. Here is the first draft of how it came out:
Value Pyramid with Mantra
The idea behind the pyramid and hierarchy was based on the thought that if we don’t practice self-care (in any of its myriad and shifting forms), we are shortchanging our commitment to everything above it in the pyramid. For me, it might feel better to make others feel better than to focus on my own health, and that means that no matter what kind of lovely stuff I am able to do higher up in the pyramid, I bet it won’t be meet my own implementation standards, or even be sustainable.
And our mantra is Be Good. Do Good. So it better damn well be sustainable!
If you’re wondering about the labels running up the sides, here it is: I kept getting stuck on where love and adventure should fit, until I realized (in a moment equal parts a ha! and duh) that they were the through lines.
I kind of love that the two sides of the pyramid are Love and Adventure, as well as that Be Good. Do Good. is the base.*
It feels right.
We aspire to sit down as a family every Sunday to then write notes celebrating the members of the family and the value or values that they exemplified this week. We’ll put this all in this snazzy mason jar (also courtesy of The Leadership Program, specifically their Leadership In Action [a.k.a. Leadership Classroom] professional development series):
And come New Years Day of 2020, we’ll pull out all the notes and read them over, celebrating everything from the past year, before taking a fresh look at the pyramid and making any wanted adjustments.
I hope that this tool helps our family live up to our mantra and values so that we can take on the world with intention.
I look forward to sharing the final pyramid with you once I complete the art in the coming days.
With love, I challenge you to take this and make it your own.
Peace to you and yours in 2019,
A
*If you’re wondering what is scribbled out beneath Adventure, it’s Magic. Not surprising for those that know me well. But it didn’t feel right to me. And then I realized it was because Magic is a little bit of what we hoped to accomplish with this to begin with. So, for now at least, it lives at the top of the pyramid.
Pssssst, P.S. Here’s one last bonus piece for the New Year, mostly for my accountability (I didn’t attempt to reinvent any sort of wheel here—excepting, perhaps, ditching resolutions for intentions!):
